Sleep Aid
by IDIC88
Summary: On several occasions Castiel helps one of the boys to get some dire needed sleep but there is a point when he is the one who needs sleep himself. There is a learning curve on how to do this on both sides until they get it done properly. H/C, hurt!Dean, hurt!Sam, hurt!Castiel, sleep deprivation, TLC and quite some whump.
1. Chapter 1 - Quite rough

**Notes:**

 _I am very new to this fandom, therefore if there are any mistakes or misinterpretations I did please inform me. Also English is not my native tongue, therefore it might sound a bit odd occasionally, hope you can oversee that (or tell me what I did wrong).  
_

 _Just in case someone didn't get it: This is fanfiction, which basically means I don't own the characters, I just borrow them to play._

 _No copyright infringement intended, no money made and so on._

 _This takes place early in the friendship between the brothers and Castiel while the angel is still trying to get accustomed to all the human issues and procedures._

* * *

 **Chapter 1**

 **The First time Cas helped a Winchester to sleep**

"I don't want to sleep, Dean, stop mother-henning me."

"Wouldn't need to if you weren't behaving like a kid for a change."

"Screw you," Sam growled.

Dean knew Sam hadn't slept for at least two nights. They had just come back from a straining hunt and his little brother looked like about to keel over. Dean had considered putting a sleeping pill in his soft drink, but up to now had refrained to act on that idea.

Cas had been with them before, but had disappeared from the scene right after the last demon had been slain - without a word.

They both had dragged their tired asses back to the motel and Sam's nervous energy, which was probably still the leftover from the adrenaline kick, made him run up and down the room, a textbook in his hands.

"Look man, this was not a single occurrence; we need to investigate this closer."

"We've been over this. There won't be anything happening in the next twenty days, you said…"

"I know, I know… but…"

"Sam, you're running on fumes here, get a break… Why don't you have the first shower?"

"Fine, whatever."

Sam let the heavy book fall to the bed, open and the pages fluttering.

He headed into the bathroom, which was spacious for a motel, and messily started to remove his sweat jacket.

Dean looked after him, he was quite worried, if Sam wouldn't get some sleep soon he'd start hallucinating.

"Cas? Can you _zap_ somebody to sleep?" he asked the empty room, too tired to be creative himself. He didn't expect an answer, it was more of a rhetorical question.

The more he flinched when a soft voice was suddenly close behind him.

"I can. But as far as I know human beings just lay down and it… kind of happens."

Dean hissed in surprise.

"Hoh, Cas, don't do this, it's freaking me out," he answered in a similar soft tone, grateful though about the unexpected answer.

"You want me to ignore you when you address me?" the angel frowned.

"No… No… I just, can't you make some kind of noise upon arrival? Sorry, forget I said that… Sam is in a bad way, he needs sleep but he refuses to try to get it."

Castiel's head tilted a bit, he was listening closely.

"Also, humans need to _want_ to sleep to actually do it… you know, like starting the process by an act of will. Sam needs to sleep but he has trouble doing it. How about you help out a bit?"

"Isn't that… Wouldn't that… I mean this is a bodily function. You told me it is not appropriate to interfere with those," Castiel stammered, obviously remembering an earlier conversation.

"Right," Dean sighed. "But this in an exception. He's… agitated, he can't relax, he needs help... kind of."

"Then why isn't he asking for it?"

"Because he's a stubborn sonofabitch… and because sleep _is_ a bit of a private matter, he might not dare to do so."

"Why not?"

"Cas, just give him the chance to have a proper rest. This is a variation of healing him, you know, helping his body heal itself. Rest speeds up healing."

Castiel raised an eyebrow and Dean could see the wheels turning. Obviously the angel was wondering why usually no one was actually doing what the older Winchester had just proclaimed was a dire need.

Before Dean could stop him Cas had opened the bathroom door.

"Dude, can't you wait till I'm finished?" Sam's muffled voice came from the adjoining room and Dean sucked in air, fearing this wouldn't end well.

"Shit, Cas! What the hell are you doing?"

That moment Dean realized that the outer circumstances that should accompany sleep were not common knowledge for an angel and he jumped up to interfere.

But he was too late, the muted soft 'thud' that came from the bathroom made him fear Cas had switched off his brother right there.

"Shit!"

Sam was collapsed on the ground, although his upper body was upright.

He was still clad in his bloody t-shirt and boxers, socks still on. Cas had obviously slowed down his decent and was now awkwardly holding onto one of his arms he had over his shoulder to support him, but he had not managed to keep Sam standing.

"Was this not what you wanted?" the trench coat clad man asked.

"You… It would have been the wise option to wait until he was clean and out of the bathroom, you know, privacy and all."

"Oh," Castiel just made, pressing his lips into a slim line as if he was a bit unnerved by his inability to store all the knowledge about human etiquette.

Dean stepped in and wound his arm around his little brother's hip, lifted his other arm over his own shoulder.

"Okay, let's lift him, on three."

They carried Sam over to the bed and lowered him down to sit on the edge.

Cas seemed to have done a proper job, Sam was so much out of it that even when Dean removed his shirt and - after they had put him in a horizontal position – gave him a cursory wash with a washcloth, he didn't even react in the slightest.

The angel stood next to them and observed the care giving closely though he did nothing to interfere.

It was obvious he was trying to store more information about the proper procedure of _brotherly care_ in contrast to _normal care_. He was clearly struggling with the concepts and Dean was also well aware that the fact that how his affection manifested depended mainly on his own mood, the physical or mental agony either he or Sam were in and the vulnerability of the situation at all… and the factor of Sam being conscious or not.

He had to give Castiel credit for being so patient with them, though. From his point of view this must be all way out of his league and he tried to learn it never the less.

"Thanks, Cas."

The angel just nodded before he vanished into thin air.

* * *

 _Since I am new to this I'd really like to know what you think._


	2. Chapter 2 - A bit rough

**Chaper 2 - The Second Time Castiel helped a Winchester to get some sleep  
**

"You need some rest, get in in the back," Sam ordered and opened the Impalas back seat door.

"I will not sleep while you drive."

Dean had to lean on the hood hard to keep himself upright.

He felt like shit.

Sam was right, he shouldn't drive like this.

Acknowledging defeat he slowly rounded the car and opened the other back door.

Sam gave him a puzzled… and annoyed look.

Heavily, he let himself sink into the back seat.

They had fought another group of vicious vampires and Dean had been their favorite target as it seemed.

While he fumbled with the seatbelt he felt his foot was shoved in and then heard the door was slammed shut by someone else.

He growled about his weakness but nevertheless considered just let himself fall back and get to sleep.

It was tempting.

He was so fucking tired.

Sam and Cas were entering in the front and closed the doors.

The slamming sound was too loud and Dean cursed, it seemed to reverberate in every single one of his painful wounds.

A moment later the ignition was started and the impala's engine started to roar.

This time he flinched about the loud noise and when the car started to move nausea joined all his ailments.

Then Sam had the glorious idea to speak, Dean wished they'd just go to the motel in silence.

His head was throbbing and his back hurt, he just wanted peace and quiet and a strong drink.

Distantly, he remembered that there must be a bottle of some hard liquor under the seat - for emergencies.

With a painful grunt he leaned over and started to feel the mat on the floor for it.

"What are you doing?" Sam asked from the driver's seat, looking over his shoulder.

"Shut up and drive," Dean grunted.

The movements were intensifying the pain in his ribs. At least two of them must be fractured. Curling up like this was not the best idea.

"Dude, stop pawing my seat… and buckle in."

"Looking for a bottle. Cas, switch on the light, would you?" Dean asked.

"You're hurt, you might need painkillers later, so, no liquor for you."

When he switched to search under Cas's seat a hand grabbed his shoulder.

"Hey, are you nuts? Cas, stop him," Sam muttered in a low voice.

"I can hear you, you know," Dean spit.

"Well, hear yes, listen, no."

"Cas?"

"I am sorry, Sam. I can't heal him in my current state."

"I know. Wasn't what I meant. How about sending him to sleep?"

"I can manage that," the angel answered.

"Fine, do it."

Dean reacted as fast as he could, trying to evade the angel's touch, but his injuries made him slow and before he had time to protest a finger found his forehead and a rush of warmth washed through his body, beginning at the point of touch.

"Cas…"

It was more an exhale than a word.

The last thing Dean knew was an overwhelming sensation of being wrapped tightly into a blanket, then feeling utterly tired before he blacked out.

With a grunt, Dean sagged sideways into the seat as soon as Cas touched his forehead.

"Can you make sure he doesn't get a stiff neck? If you can't I'll pull over," Sam said in a soft voice, turning briefly to see Dean behind the angel.

"How am I supposed to do that?" Castiel wanted to know.

"Is his neck in a natural position?" Sam tried to see his unconscious brother in the rearview mirror.

Cas mustered the older Winchester brother for a moment, then unbuckled and leaned over the backrest.

"Not sure."

"Well, if you can, make him sit upright. Buckle him in, it'll keep him that way… and make sure he's comfortable and his breathing isn't impaired."

The angel knelt on his seat and did as best as he could, then sat down properly and fastened his own seatbelt again.

"He will sleep through the night."

"We might need to stitch him up… and before that - get him out of the car."

"We'll manage," Cas stated plainly.

"Next time make sure he's in a sleep-compatible position before knocking him out," Sam suggested in a careful voice. He was aware that his kind of constructive criticism was welcomed by the angel.

"What is a sleep-compatible position?" Cas wanted to know.

Sam sighed.

"Let's not do this now."

Dean woke up in the early hours of the morning in a dimly lit motel room.

Sam was asleep on the other bed and Cas was sitting backwards on a chair nearby, his head resting on the back rest in an oddly human position.

He was much too tired to do anything else than store that unusual sight of the partly incapacitated angel somewhere deep in his mind.

Then he once more was reminded how odd and safe it felt to have this particular creature take care of his needs.

Castiel was a bit rough when it came to caring for physical needs, he didn't experience things his vessel like a normal human being felt his own body's. They had figured out that Jimmy's body was his vessel but his connection to it lacked the authentic nerve response every normal person experiences on a daily basis.

But he was learning to be aware of how things felt lately; experiencing the loss of his angel powers and becoming more human was affecting and changing him. He was growing tenderer with his and other people's physical forms.

On one hand it was horrible, on the other it felt quite intense to witness that unique process.

Dean saw someone had bandaged his wounds and was aware the tiredness in his limbs might be caused by quite a good dose of painkillers. He allowed himself to slip back into sleep.

* * *

 _Constructive criticism and feedback welcome._


	3. Chapter 3 - With a bit of TLC

_I don't own the characters, I just borrow them to play. No copyright infringement intended, no money made and so on._

* * *

 **TLC – First try**

The demons had caught Sam a few hours ago and Dean and Castiel were sneaking up on their den to get rid of them and get the younger Winchester out.

It was easier than expected, as least getting rid of the creatures.

But then they were faced with Sam, who had been in their hands for hours. They had entered the foyer and found him bound to a banister, hanging on the out side, his arms outstretched and bound to the railing, his shoulders carrying almost his whole weight. His buttocks were level with the floor and his legs dangling over the open space.

They hurried up the stairs to the right and Dean tried to gather as much information about the position Sammy was in on his way up.

If they cut him lose he'd fall if he wasn't able to hold himself to the structure, quite nasty. It meant getting rid of the ropes was equal with falling to death – in case their victim had managed to free a hand.

Dean gasped when he realized it also looked distantly as if they had tried to crucify him without nails.

When Sam twitched Dean froze, stopping just a feet behind.

"Maybe you should knock him out before we touch him," Dean chocked.

Cas raised his eyebrows.

It had only been a few days ago that, they had another talk about the right of a person to make their own decisions and which boundaries existed and what that meant.

It had become quite philosophical. Sam and Cas had spent half the night discussing the pros and cons of the concept from several points of view, medical, ethical, practical, philosophical and so on.

To their surprise Sam was conscious and opened his eyes when he heard his brother's voice.

"Are we safe?" Sam rasped.

Dean got over the stunner fast and tried to soothe his brother by resting a hand on his arm.

Sam squeezed his eyes shut, the touch had obviously caused quite some pain.

"Sorry, Sammy."

Dean tried to figure out how to get his sibling out of his predicament without letting him fall down the one storey drop.

"Yeah, yeah, its safe, Sammy. Stay calm, we'll get you free and it'll be fine," Dean turned towards Cas, "Think you can hold him in place with your mojo while I cut him free?"

Castiel silently shook his head.

With demon powers it was a piece of cake to lift him to the exterior of the banister, but without angel mojo, not at all easy to get him down again.

Since Sam's lower body was hanging in the air he had nothing to step on or cling onto, even if they found a ladder, it would never reach up this high.

"Great," Dean sighed. "We need to construct slings of rope he can step on. I saw some rope in the supply room next to the kitchen. Go get it."

Castiel understood he was addressed and headed back down the stair.

"How are you holding up there?" Dean addressed his little brother while Cas hurried down the stairs again to find the rope.

"Hurts so much I'm afraid I'm gonna puke," Sam whispered, his voice hoarse, "I fear both shoulders 're dislocated."

"Shit. How long have you been hanging there?"

"Feels like ages… But couldn't 've been more than an hour minutes before you arrived. Left one gave way twenty minutes in, right one… bit later."

"So they put the support on your belt before or after?"

"Moved to much, tried to keep me from…" Sam's voice trailed off.

Dean reached for the ropes that were wound through Sam's belt at two points, supporting a bit of his weight like strange suspenders.

"So how's your junk doin'?"

"Hurts."

"Anything cut off from circulation?" Dean felt both his brothers' wrists for his pulse to make sure circulation wasn't impaired.

To his great relief he found a strong but way too fast pulse in both sides.

"Don't think so," Sam grunted.

A moment later Cas started to climb the stairs again, carrying a large roll of heavy rope.

They got to work and created several slings in different widths Sam could step on like a ladder.

But then it turned out it was tricky because he had real trouble getting his feet in the first one to support his own weight, he needed ten attempts to even get one foot in the first sling.

It was taking ages and Dean wondered if they needed to find another way to do this.

Sam was trembling so much he shoved the rope away most of the time, when he finally managed Cas and Dean had to pull him up on his belt because he couldn't manage to push himself up the five centimeters to straighten his legs.

Sam cried out because the Jeans cut even deeper into his flesh when they pulled, and also because his shoulders were moved.

"Damn it," he groaned.

"Hang on, we're almost there," Dean tried to encourage him.

Sam clenched his jaw against the pain, he knew this was just the beginning.

But at least now that he stood on the rope the weight was off his arms.

When they finally were ready to help him over the balustrade they were careful not to dislodge his arms any further, but Sam couldn't hold them up on his own and they started to sink down.

The sudden pain was so intense Sam saw black spots dim his vision.

He tried to keep his arms in position but found he couldn't.

Dean spotted his problem and helped him guide his useless hand towards his chest without moving the arms too much, where he could hold them in place on his own, keeping them from being jostled.

Awkwardly he climbed over the banister with Dean's and Cas' help, who tried very hard not to touch his arms, but shortly before when he would've touched save ground on the inside of the banister he almost toppled over.

Dean reached for his upper arm in a reflex that probably did save him from falling but it also send a hot spike of horrible pain through his shoulder joint.

Blinded by the intense pain he started retching.

Luckily nothing came up.

Gently, they allowed Sam to put his feet down on the safe ground, but he immediately started to sink to his knees, Dean went down with him, supporting him from the side.

Dean winced when he saw in how much pain his sibling was. Then he frowned because this was nothing in comparison too in how much he'd be in as soon as they'd start to fix him.

"We need to get him to the car."

Sam tried to get to his feet again, but due to his uncoordinated movements and blurred vision he bumped into Cas' thigh and screamed in pain.

Dean was well aware his brother had a high pain tolerance and for him to actually scream meant more than seven on a scale from 1 to 10.

Then the noise was cut off suddenly when Sam started to retch once more and this time bile came up.

"We can't transport him like this. We need to fix this now."

Dean once more wrapped his fingers gently around Sam's wrists, making sure the dislocation wasn't constricting anything.

"There's no alternative, sorry, bro."

"Dean?" Castiel was clearly not getting what this meant.

An involuntary tear ran down Sam's face, he bit his teeth to keep the struggle silent.

"Knock me out, please, Cas…" he begged.

Cas' asking gaze went up to Deans face.

"We need to set his shoulders, the longer they are like that the worse it could get," Dean explained to the angel. "But let's get him to the car, first?... or at least as close to is as possible."

When they carefully helped Sam up something changed, he suddenly seemed to lose the connection to reality due to the intense pain, he was no longer really understanding what was happening around them.

Halfway to the car Sam's strength finally left him and they had to try to hold him upright without touching his arms, which turned out to be not easy.

Another weaker scream and heavy breathing were the result.

It was almost impossible to keep Sam on his feet after that.

Every achieved step was a small victory and it took ages to do a few feet.

"Come on, Sammy, just a few more steps and you can rest. See the car? Just down the driveway, on the right, see it… just a bit further…"

Sam didn't react, he seemed to be on autopilot.

It seemed as if he was miles away.

Dean and Castiel exchanged worried looks when they felt Sam start to tremble so much his teeth clattered and his ability to stumble forward was even more impaired by it.

It took them twelve minutes to finally reach the car.

They leaned Sam against the side of the impala's hood.

"He's in shock… Cas, I think you should switch him off now. Wait till I'm ready… and do it with care, this time, huh? I mean… be gentle and… tender or… _something_."

Cas frowned, not sure he understood, also, Dean's words were out of place and he sounded oddly vulnerable.

For a long moment, Cas just stood there motionless, trying to figure out how to do it. Meanwhile Dean fetched the cooler from the backseat.

The angel eyed Sam, whose face was pale and the agony was clearly visible.

"Come on, Sasquatch," Dean made him move towards the car door but then stopped him halfway there, next to the cooler, stepping behind him and reaching around his torso.

"He can't manage the ride, we need to do this _now_."

Cas for once understood the hint and gently reached for Sam's brow, gave Castiel a weak smile.

Cas concentrated on doing it carefully and gentle.

Also he was aware that Sam might hurt himself even more if he fell, so he had waited for Dean to get ready to catch his brother.

Also, he tried to not just switch the younger Winchester off at once but fade him out a bit slower than that.

It was the first time he considered doing it like this, usually, he needed to do this in combat and as fast as possible.

Sam's eyes rolled back and his knees gave way and with a sigh of relief he sagged backwards into his brother's waiting arms.

Dean sat him down on the cooler, leaning his slack back against him and holding him upright this way.

"I need to switch place with you, can you do this, stand behind him, and hold him like this, keep him from falling over?"

Cas nodded and took over.

Dean cut away the shirt and started to palpate the joints.

"I will have to pull with a bit of gentle force, you need to hold him in place, can you do that?"

The ground was muddy and wet, otherwise Dean would have put him on his back for the procedure.

"What will you do?"

"I need to pop the arm back into the joint, you need to keep his torso in place, hold on tight." Dean grabbed Sam's left wrist and stretched the arm out, then, slowly, pulled, Sam's body followed.

"No, you need to hold him in place, Cas, tighter… not so tight to break his ribs though."

Cas frowned but did as best as he could, Sam being absolutely slack made it hard to hold him in place, Dean was aware of that.

He placed his knee against Sam's ribs to have more leverage, then slowly started to pull with increasing but careful force.

Castiel watched. He had little experience how much force it took to break bones but what Dean did looked dangerously close to breaking things.

With a 'pok' the head of the humerus slid back into place.

Cas' eyes widened in horror but when Dean grinned stupidly at him he realized this must have been the expected outcome of the action.

"One finished, one to go." Dean said, it was probably meant to be reassuring.

The left arm was harder to put back, Cas was afraid to hold Sam's torso hard enough to do it.

"I have to grip his arm so tight I leave marks, Dean, I am not supposed to hurt him further," Cas mumbled.

"Yeah, helping means more pain sometimes, that's how it is, just bear with me," Dean answered and tried a slightly different angle.

It took an unexpected amount of force to relocate the other shoulder, in the end even Dean was unsure if to continue to try this on his own.

He was almost ready to drive to the next hospital when the bones finally aligned in their normal place with a sickening sound that Dean would remember for a very long time.

The fact that even the angel was quite pale spoke volumes.

"Does this happen often to humans?" he asked while they gently loaded Sam into the backseat.

"Humans… no. Hunters: yes," Dean explained. "The thing is that after it happened a first time the second, third, fourth and so one happens easier. But it also gets easier to pop it back in… normally."

"He was in a profound amount of pain?"

"You felt it?"

"Not really, just a vague shadow of it when I 'switched him off'."

Dean grinned about the fact that Cas had used his words.

When the angel looked unnerved and confused he added, "Getting' slangy on me?"

"That was not my intention. You know your out-of-norm-language puts me into… trouble frequently?"

"Yes, that's half the fun," Dean admitted while they climbed in the front.

"I don't like it."

Dean started the engine and the cassette started to turn.

He needed Led Zeppelin right now, so he changed the tapes.

Castiel closed his eyes.

It was still new to him that loud noises actually caused pain. Since his powers were depleted the issues of being in a human vessel made themselves known in an intense way. It was a struggle to keep up with it.

Sensory input could be quite annoying.

As was this half-human-half-angel-state he was currently in.

The pains that came with it were not only physical but had a quite new undertone: emotional.

It unsettled him how much the fact that he feared Sam's pain and the fact that he was able to imagine it affected his thoughts. Experiencing the past hour was quite rough.

"You okay?" Dean asked, adjusting the rear view mirror to be able to see his brother in the back seat."

When Cas wasn't even able to put his thoughts into words and sat there with drawn breath, unable to speak, Dean continued.

"Happens to all of us. Quite intense experiencing it firsthand. You'll get used to it… You did good, you know that, right?"

Castiel closed his eyes and hoped his energy wouldn't vanish any more, what he felt was borderline desperation and it was a very unsettling experience to feel that. He didn't even realize how out of character it was for Dean to actually say something encouraging like that.

"Having to endure this while awake would've traumatized us all, so… Thank you," Dean added.

When Cas looked over he saw more liquid than normal in Dean's eyes. This time it registered with him how straining it had been for Dean, too to see his brother like that.

His first reflex was to ask what was happening, but then he decided to just let it stand like this and nodded silently.

* * *

 _I've started another story, just in case someone wants to check it out. It's about angel healing mojo._


	4. Chapter 4 - Quite rough

**Notes:**

 _._

 _This takes place during a time when Castiel has no angel powers for some reason and is on the road with the boys._

::

* * *

::

 **The First time Cas was helped to sleep - a bit rough.**

Sam followed Dean into the gas station store to pay for the gas. Castiel remained standing by the car, waiting for them.

"Dude, we need to help him with this, he has no clue what it means to be human and to take care of his vessel. He _needs_ to sleep," Sam hissed once they were out of earshot.

"How long has he been awake?"

"I don't know… Days. It's getting dangerous."

"Fine. Give him some sleeping pills? There must be some of the good stuff in the med kit."

"He drank a liquor store and that was what it took to make him drunk, think those will help?"

"He's much more human right now than back then. We should probably be careful now that he has no powers."

"Think we can't convince him to take them?"

"He refused to even _try_ to sleep. Why would he take something that is supposed to _help_ him sleep?"

"I'll try once more to convince him to give it a try."

"Fine. Get something to drink just in case, so we can dissolve _them_. Orange juice. He likes it."

.

Ten minutes later they were back on the road, Castiel in the backseat and Dean driving.

"Cas, you look quite exhausted there. Why don't you lie down on the seat and take a nap. It will take at least six hours until we're there."

"Yeah. Dude, get some shut eye. You need it," Dean added.

"Don't you need my help? I can't just sleep and leave you to do it," Cas answered.

"Hey, nothing to help us with for the next few hours. Actually, I think I will sleep a bit, too," Sam tried to convince the angel. "You can lie down back there, it's quite comfy. So use the time. We need you alert and ready, not tired and exhausted. You help us more by being rested than by talking to us while we drive."

"I am not sure this is a good idea."

"Trust me, Cas. Your body needs sleep. Just do it."

"I… I don't know how," the angel stammered.

"Oh. That's… Alright," Sam turned around and leaned over the seat.

This changed things.

Dean gave his brother a glance, then widened his eyes when he didn't catch his hint.

"So, explain it to him – again – how it works," Dean urged.

"Take my jacket, make it into a pillow and lie down. Then you try to think of nothing and concentrate on relaxing your muscles," Sam explained.

"Come on, try it."

Hesitating at first, the powerless angel tried to lie down with his seatbelt still fastened.

"Unbuckle first," Sam chuckled.

"But Dean said…."

"It's okay to do it - this time. Go on," Dean turned his head sideways so Cas could hear him better.

It took almost three minutes until Cas had managed to lie down with an improvised pillow under his head, but he didn't close his eyes.

"That's it," Sam tried to encourage him. "Now just relax and let your body drift off into sleep."

When the angel's expression changed into focused concentration, Sam added, "No, just close your eyes. It won't work if you try to force it. Just relax."

Cas closed his eyes and for a moment Sam thought he might actually really was ready to try it.

"Now relax and think of nothing."

"One can't think of nothing," the angel protested.

"Right. So concentrate on relaxing all the muscles in your entire body… one at a time… and deepen your breaths."

They drove in silence for almost ten minutes and Sam hoped that this was finally doing it.

The droning of the Impala's engine and the gentle movement always helped him fall asleep.

But then, Castiel suddenly jerked upwards. Sam turned around in surprise.

The angel's teeth were clenched and he was breathing a bit fast.

"What is it?"

"I can't do it."

"Why not?"

Cas just shook his head, a frown on his face.

"Dude, sleep deprivation will lead to serious trouble. Your vessel will get quite sick if you don't sleep. So, tell us what's going on."

"I feel odd," Cas explained after he hesitated for a moment.

"In which way?"

"Nausea?"

"That's not uncommon with sleep deprivation. You _need_ to sleep, Cas. Seriously. Dean, maybe we should find a motel so he can sleep in a bed."

"No!" the angel protested.

"Lie down, shut up and sleep," Dean ordered, a bit unnerved.

"Dean! Not helping!" Sam stared at him, a bit angry.

"Just try again. You will get there," he then soothingly addressed Cas.

Dean scrunched up his nose at the tone.

But Castiel lay back down and tried again.

.

Two hours later Castiel had still failed to go to sleep and Dean had enough. He was worried about the angel and unnerved with the circumstances in general as well as his own helplessness.

"Gimme that juice bottle," he ordered when Cas had just exited the car to stretch his legs during their next stop.

Sam fumbled it out of the cooler box behind the driver seat and handed it over with a frown.

A few seconds later Dean had opened it and produced one of the first aid kits from the glove compartment.

He then pulled out a blister of what was probably heavy duty sleeping pills and dropped three of them into the bottle, then added a fourth for good measure.

"Dean!"

"What?... If he drinks half the bottle he'll have the recommended dose. And even that won't be easy. You know how picky he is when it comes to eat and drink."

"Okay. We're getting desperate. I get it."

"Just make sure that – for starters – he only drinks the first half."

"Alright. How long till we're there?"

"Four more hours."

"Maybe we should just wait until we get there."

"You said it yourself: this is getting dangerous. He needs sleep. So drug him, it's the only way."

"Not happy about it, but… you are right."

.

Ten minutes later they were back on the road, Cas once more patiently sitting in the back. Pale and with dark circles under his eyes, but ready to listen to what they might want to discuss.

"Cas? When did you last eat or drink?" Sam asked after another few minutes.

"This morning. I had a coffee."

"And before that?"

"Yesterday: scrambled eggs."

"Of which you only ate three teaspoons full," Dean grunted.

"That's not enough. You need to get more calories and liquids, ," Sam added. "Here, have some juice."

Sam held out the orange juice bottle and the angel took it.

"I know it feels odd to consume food, but you _need_ to do it. We need you healthy and focused. Lack of sustenance will slow you down," the younger Winchester added when Castiel just held the bottle and didn't drink.

It took four more minutes of coaxing until Cas took a careful sip.

"And? Do you like this brand?"

Cas nodded and took another sip.

Over the next half hour Sam convinced him to drink more and more of the juice, until finally a quarter of the bottle was gone. But then the angel shocked him by drinking two more quarters in one go.

"Whoa! Slow down. Too much at once might make you sick. Gimme that, I want to try it myself," Sam tried to get his hands on the spiked drink.

The younger Winchester was aware that the drugs in the juice should take effect within half an hour and was waiting for them to kick in.

Although Cas had ingested one and a half doses already, it failed to kick in during the first hour after ingestion.

Dean kept his eyes on his watch, but even after one and a half hours there were still no signs that the sleeping pills were doing their work.

.

After two hours Sam offered the angel more of the juice but he declined, stating it was making him feel even worse.

"Okay," Sam said with a flinch when he realized this meant the drug was actually doing something just not what they needed.

 _Or maybe Cas was fighting sleep without realizing it?_

"Hey, you really look wasted, dude. Lie down and relax," Sam added.

"Sam?" Dean asked alarmed and tried to look over his shoulder at the angel.

"He's quite pale and exhausted," Sam tried to smile at Cas with a worried look.

Then he noticed that the angel's breathing was speeding up and he started to blink fast.

"Cas? What's happening?" the younger Winchester was alarmed now.

"I don't know," came the hoarse answer.

"What do you feel?"

"I… am confused. I feel… very bad."

"In what way?"

"As if all my lifeforce and Grace were sucked out of me."

"Ehm, this might be normal, Cas. That is how being very exhausted feels like," Dean explained, but the tone of his voice made it clear he was not sure this was really what was happening.

Cas started to pant.

"Dean, pull over," Sam ordered.

"Cas, lie down on your back and lift your feet, let them rest on the edge of the open window."

"NO!" came the raucous reply from the man in the backseat.

Dean remembered a conversation about vulnerability and being close to death they had some time ago. He now suddenly understood that - for an angel - being flat on the ground meant 'almost dead' or 'dying'. Cas had been in such a situation on numerous occasions in his existence and it must was probably a reason for a lot of bad memories to resurface.

"Trigger, Sam. Bad one," he whispered and his brother looked at him, understanding dawning on his face.

But it was too late, Castiel was starting to breathe heavily and he had a wild expression on his face.

"Shit… Stop the car!" Sam urged.

"Trying. No chance, yet."

"I can't… breathe," the angel wheezed, leaning forward and gripping the backrest in front of him hard.

"Try to stay calm, dude. You're having a panic attack or something. It just _feels_ as if you can't, but you can," Sam soothed.

"Is this… a part of… sleep deprivation?" Cas panted.

"Eh, yeah. Sometimes this happens. Especially if your basic mood is…" Sam interrupted himself, realizing he was implying the angel was anxious since depleted of his powers. "I mean, when I feel a bit threatened after a difficult job, being tired will worsen it."

"How do… I… stop this?"

"Just try to breathe normally and relax."

Sam wrapped his long fingers around Castiel's wrist, which that happened to be in easy reach, and counted his pulse.

Way too fast and thready.

Luckily Dean found a wide access road to some fields and went in diagonally. But before he had fully stopped the vehicle, Cas opened the door and tried to get out.

He almost stumbled but caught himself.

For a moment Sam thought he was about to throw up, but Castiel just started to run towards the field.

"Shit!"

They both hurried after him.

Running was so not good in his condition.

"Cas! Stop!" Dean yelled after him, but was ignored.

Sam revved up and ran after the angel, who was now slowing down and stumbling.

But before the younger Winchester could reach him he stopped and then, without warning dropped like a sand bag.

Then, he didn't move, at all.

"Dammit!" Sam knelt down next to the crumpled from and carefully rolled him onto his side.

"Cas? You alright?"

A low moan was the only answer.

Sam felt for the pulse again, it was racing.

"What the hell did you think you were doing?" Dean barked, kneeling down, too. "Are you trying to kill yourself?"

When Castiel started to make choking noises, Sam hissed at him.

"Well done, Dean. Make it even worse. This is _so not_ what he needs."

Carefully, he turned the angel a bit more so he was almost on his back, his limbs were slack and heavy.

"Hey, Cas. Don't panic. Your body is shutting down from the exhaustion. It's alright. It feels bad, but you're gonna be fine."

"I'm dying," the angel grunted.

"No. You are not," Sam soothed. "It's gonna be alright."

"Don't fight it, just relax," Dean tried.

"No," Cas gasped.

"He's right. Just let go, Cas. It's gonna be alright. Just give in. Let sleep take you. Come on…" Sam added, resting a hand on the angels shoulder to show him he was not alone.

Cas tensed even more, trembling from the overexertion.

"Shh… Let go, just let go."

Then, just a second later, Castiel's eyes slowly rolled back and with a small grunt he became completely limp, his head lolling to the side.

"Cas?" Sam asked in a low voice, worried now that this was not just sleep. He hurried to put a few fingers on the unconscious man's artery to check his pulse.

"Oh, thank god!" Dean just commented, sagging back to sit on his heels.

After Sam had checked the powerless angel over they carefully carried him back to the car.

Getting him in the backseat was not easy but they finally managed.

When Dean started the car again, Castiel was on his side, in the recovery position and breathing deeply, while Sam was hanging over the backrest, monitoring their unconscious patient.

::

* * *

::

 _Please give me some feedback, constructive criticism welcome_


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